Paranoia

.. is my path to insanity..
just lately i have been putting 2 and 2 together and getting 5.. i look at certain people and think they are all talking about me or dont like me, im checking peoples facebook to make sure they arent lying to me, i think most people hate me, and just certain things in my head dont add up, but i can feel myslf going insane. im not myself again, i felt like this not so long back, as you can see from my previous blogs. im going down my old road again, looking towards the light as a way out.. if you get what i mean. my paranoia is bringing out my suicidal tendencies.. finding myself starring at sharpy objects, wondering if i have a bad enough migraine for my parents to give me some paracetamol, anyway out of this madness state im in. i cant deal with the nightmares, sleep paralysis, visions in my head, voices when im home alone.. i do need propper help but im scared to seek it.. i dunno what im going to do about this, but i need some kind of closure.. and if noone can help me, then ill have to take my way out. and it wont be pretty. Panda out.